Letter Four : My Story with the Woman who had a Bad Reputation [ My Cancer Letters ]
By Ziad Bakri - February 25, 2013
My Cancer Letters
( Letters written by a 29
year old guy who found out
that he has cancer
and less than a year to live )
Letter Four : My Story With the Woman who had a Bad
Reputation
____________________________________________________
Chemotherapy !!!
You die to live, these are the only words I can use to describe
the awful experience every cancer patient passes through while getting a
chemotherapy treatment. You just sit there for hours while toxics are being
poured into your body. Before I started getting my own therapy, I used to pass
by the chemotherapy section in the hospital to get a look at the patients, they
had sad faces, some of them were crying while others were silent and depressed.
Ten minutes.. twenty minutes….an hour passed and I was just
standing by the door, it was my first chemotherapy session. I asked the doctor
not to push me to get inside, I told him that I need my time and he completely
respected my wish.
I started crying like a child, I had no one with me to share that moment with. Suddenly, I felt a
hand over my shoulder, I turned and hugged the person without even looking at
their face. After I finished crying, I held my head high to see the person, the
woman, who was hugging me. At first I did not recognize her but then I remembered.
They used to refer to her as the woman with ' bad reputation', she was known for
having many affairs with married men, living alone by herself and doing many
things that are not accepted by the society. I remembered saying hi to her once
or twice in a couple of occasions, and I also remember the way my friends used
to pull me away from her telling me that even speaking with her is a bad thing.
'Are you ok ?', she asked.
'No, I am not', I answered.
'Why are you crying?'
'I have cancer, and this is my first chemotherapy session.'
'Are you afraid of the treatment.'
'I am afraid of death.'
'All of us will die.'
'But not all of us will have a huge sign telling them that they
will die soon.'
Silence…..
'I don't want to lose my hair. Look at it , it is very
beautiful.'
'It will grow back.', she answered.
'What if I never have the chance to see it grow again.'
' And what is hope for?'
'People vomit after getting the treatment.'
'You will be fine.'
'People suffer a lot because of this experience.'
'You will be fine.'
'What will I do?'
'You will be fine.'
Silence….
"I am afraid to go there alone.'
'And who said you will?'
'What do you mean?'
'It means that I will go with you.'
I was shocked, she held my hand and we entered the room. The
doctor came and the process started, during the whole time her hands never left
mine. We spoke about art, history, politics and love.
At one point, I was in deep pain, my tears started falling
again. Suddenly, she took her hand and put it over my head and started reading
verses of the holy book, she was praying for me to get cured and to be free of
the pain!
Hours passed and the session was over. She stood up and drew a
huge smile over her face and came closer to my face and said :
"Tell you a secret, if you get bold, you will look
great."
She stood up and left the room.
Being close to death my friend has changed the way I looked at
many things, thinking about what matters only makes you a different person.
This woman whom I, myself, once referred to as a bad woman, turned out to be an
angel whom God sent me to protect me during one of the hardest experience I have
ever been through in my life.
Who knows my friend? Maybe this woman is a better person than
any other woman I have ever met. The purity of her heart made her stand by a
person in pain during this miserable time.
I wish I could see this pure woman one more time….
Your friend,
Take care.
