The two children did not know what was going on. Their mom
kept holding them and going from a room to another, and within the same room
from corner to another.
“Mommy, what exactly is this game that we are playing?”
asked Ahmed, the young one.
“We are not playing a game, dear.”, answered his mom who had
to put them down and wipe the sweat running over her face.
She put them in the hallway and started looking at them, she
remembered when she was single and she was talking with her married friend
asking her about the war.
“So, how was this war different?”
“Having children makes it completely different. You stop
thinking about your own safety, your house, money or anything. Your only
concern will be your children. What to
do with them, how to protect them if your house was attacked, how to sacrifice
your life for the sake of theirs.”
At that moment, she remembered her friend’s words vividly,
she did not get what she meant until she had children of her own.
Since the war has started, horrible images have never left
her mind, they occupied it just like the Israelis did to Palestine. And they
refused to let go of her mind, just like them! Having electricity was a two-sided weapon, she
was able to watch t.v. and use her computer but at the same time she was able
to see the horrible pictures of the war’s victims, of the many people killed in
streets for no reason, just being Palestinians. The pictures that kept haunting
her were the ones of the killed children, she saw her daughter in each girl
lying on the ground with her doll in her hand. She saw her young boy in every
child killed while sleeping thinking that his mother’s chest will protect him.
“What if they bomb from the east and the wall of the hall
way falls on us?” she thought to herself. She picked the children again and
went into the living room. A scream came out of her mouth when she recognized
that they were sitting under the window, the most dangerous place. Tears fell
down her eyes while she moved her kids to another place.
She looked at them and said “I am sorry, kids.. mommy is
really sorry.”
“Why are you sorry mommy, did you do something wrong? Did
you lie?” her daughter asked, innocently.
“No dear , I did not.
It is just that I put you in an unsafe place. It is my mistake.”
“Why don’t we go to your room, mommy? Before he left, daddy
told you that it is the safest and we shouldn’t leave it?”
She paused for a second to think of her husband, whom she hasn’t
known anything about for a long time, he works as a paramedic and the moment
the war started, he had to go to save people leaving them behind. She remembers
telling her by the door:
“Take good care of yourself and the children. My biggest
fear is getting a phone call to pick up dead bodies to come and find that they
are yours. I would die….”
Her husband, the hero, who fears nothing , turned at that
moment into a child terrified that he might lose his family. She smiled and
said :”Don’t worry dear. When you come back you will find us here, waiting. “
Her daughter’s hand stroking her shoulder brought her back
from her thoughts.
“Mommy, are you ok? “
“Yes, dear.”
“So, why don’t we go to your safe room?”
“Because I told you that there is a mouse there, and you
know how afraid I am of mice. I closed it so it does not come out until your
father comes and kills him. That is why we cannot go into the room as long as
the mouse is in it.”
Her son sat into her lap and asked:”Mommy, why are you
afraid of mice but not cats ? We all love Jerry but hate Tom !!”
She couldn’t not smile, she looked at him and said : “Well,
in real life things are different.”
“Mommy , why is the sky blue?”
“Oh , God!!” she said, she knew it is one of the many times
where her boy starts asking many questions about the universe.
“I don’t know why, it is just blue. “
“But why?”
“I really don’t know. And please STOP asking me questions,
mommy is not in a good mood sweety.”
The boy got a little bit sad and sat away from her, she did
not want to upset him, so she hugged him and said: “Let’s have a deal, you are
allowed to ask two more questions, and then we will have a break.”
The little boy smiled and went back to sitting on her lap
“So , mommy, is the mouse ‘occupying’ your room?”, he asked.
She wasn’t sure she heard the question correctly, she had to
wait for a couple of seconds before asking:
“ ‘ occupying’ !! do you even know the meaning of this word
?!”
“Yes, my father told me once that when someone stays in a
place that does belong to him and kicks the owners out of it, it is called
occupation, isn’t that what the mouse is doing, isn’t he occupying our room?”
She remained silent for some time, it wasn’t the first time
that her son has asked her a quizzling question, but this one was the most
surprising one.
“Well, yes… I guess, he is.”
“Ok, then. Now let’s move to the second question.”
“Remember . “ , she said firmly, ”You only have one question
left?”
“Ok, what if the mouse moves to another room, and then to a
third one… what will happen to us, if we keep leaving each room he goes to,
will we end up out of our house? Where should we go? We cannot go to grandma’s
house because you said it is dangerous. Will we die?? “
Moments passed, the boy thought that he was a part of a staring contest that his
mom was winning, she kept looking at him unable to say a word.
Suddenly, she stood up, went to the kitchen and brought the
sweeper. On her way out she looked at the kids and said: “Stay in your places,
do not move no matter what!!”
“But where are you going to go mommy.”, the worried voice of
her daughter asked.
“I am going to get our room back.”
She went to her room, took a deep breath and opened it fast
so she could enter without giving the mouse a chance to leave. She was
terrified, she would die if she sees a cockroach, what about a mouse!! She saw
him, standing there in the middle of the room, he could feel her fear and that
was why he did not move.
“Listen to me, you dirty occupier” , she said to the mouse.
“You could drive me out of the room, but this room is my children’s safe place
and I will die before letting you be the reason of their death.
She screamed her lungs out!! She attacked the mouse that ran
all over the room, she fought with every bit of strength she had. She cornered
him and bam !!! one hit, two , three , four, five, six…. The mouse was dead.
She sat next to the dead mouse’s body and started weeping,
her kids came into the room and got disgusted by the dead mouse lying in the
corner. The hugged their mommy and covered their faces in her shoulders.
She hugged her children, picked them up and put them over
the bed. Then, she got a bag, put the mouse in it and threw it in the garbage.
She came to the room, smiled and said to her children: “Our room is free now.
We will stay here until daddy comes.”
4 التعليقات
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DeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteI've found this blog by chance, or let me say.. I was sailing from site to another till I reached here. Lots of things to read, but I don't have clear mind nor time to focus and analyze every single word.. your blog seems full of creativity, this made me proud of you as I'm proud of many creative Palestinians poets and writers. I hope to come again and read, I'll try to leave my comment as well.
Keep it up!
Blackmatta...
Wonderful way of explaining what occupation means. Shall you recover some day your land. Everything is possible as long as you do not lose your dignity and will to resist.
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