My World In Words, From Gaza.

My therapist asked me to write you a letter

I spent hours looking at the blank piece of paper like an art lover gazing at a painting trying to figure out the secret of it's beauty

 

My therapist encouraged me to cry

Now this one is easy! A crying baby can make me sob.. yet my tears escaped me and I turned into a barren well

 

My therapist asked me to grieve

Every time I think of you I feel the urge to scream.... And I try to scream... I do my best to scream... But my voice gets silenced.... Turned down... Muted

 

My therapist asked me to stop looking at your pictures

I never look at them... Yet they are engraved in my memory... Every piece of furniture you touched... Every glass you sipped a drink of .. every music track you played... all embroidered on the back of my soul

 

My therapist asked me to meet new people

I do meet new people.. I socialize... I smile... I interact... But all I see is you... Only you

 

My therapist asked me to look for a closure

I can't find my closure... I am tired... Too tired... And all I need is some quietness .... For the many ideas panicking within my head to be silent... For a minute ... Just one minute

 

My therapist asked me to share one truth and one lie 

I tell him that I love you  

Then I tell him that I love you  

My therapist is trying to figure out what happened 

I stand up and leave

He waited silently in the ambulance while the nurses and paramedics were signing papers and prepari the things they needed. He sat on the stretcher calmly, looking at the tree opposite him through the open doors of the vehicle. He was motionless to the extent you might think you are looking at a painting. His eyes were tired, with dark circles under them. Tubes were coming in and out of his hands and arms, with a blood stain over his grey pyjamas. His mouth and nose were covered with a mask connected to an oxygen tube so he could breathe. 

It is sad that he was breathing artificial oxygen instead of the fresh air around him. It was six o’clock in the morning. No one was around except for a sleepy guard at the gate of the hospital. He could barely open his eyes, and if had moved one millimetre, the cap over his head would have fallen and so would he. 

Minutes passed until the man noticed the boy, he left his arm slowly, but it was too painful that he put it down again. He smiled at him and asked him to come closer. The boy stepped up and quickly moved towards the man, hugged him for a second and was about to turn back when the man held him tight and whispered in his ear “Take care of your mom and sister.” 

The boy said nothing, and he jumped down the ambulance and headed towards the hospital entrance. But instead of getting inside, he froze, it was clear there was a lot on his mind, you could tell that he was thinking hard about something. He turned back, and ran towards the ambulance, jumped in and went to the man and hugged him too tight.   

“I love you.”, the boy said. 

The man remained silent with tears in his eyes. He was struggling to speak but words refused to get out of him. The boy turned around quickly without looking at the man, stepped down and went running towards the hospital entrance, and disappeared. 

The man went back to his motionless state, but this time he was not looking at the tree anymore. Instead, he was looking at the boy who left, with tears falling down his eyes.