Mamma...
I have always believed that our souls were created in a way that makes us unable of hating our moms... But I found out later I was wrong... that day, the seed of hatred found its way into my heart.
I have always believed that our souls were created in a way that makes us unable of hating our moms... But I found out later I was wrong... that day, the seed of hatred found its way into my heart.
It
was the Eid and I was thirteen... Like every other child I was super excited
about waking up in the early morning to wear my new outfit and go out to play
with the other kids... I remember entering your room and whispering into your
ears " mamma, I am going downstairs to play with the other kids" .. The
way you opened your eyes widely made me think that you heard something wrong...
You stood up, took me by the hand and walked out of the room..
I
was scared, I thought I did something wrong that I was being punished for.. We
went to my room... You made me stand in front of the mirror and you stood
behind me with your hands over my shoulders:
"Mamma.. What is going on?"
"Look at your body Mariam... Look at it.. Do you believe that it is good for you
to go out and play with the kids? You became a young woman now and you should
not act like children." I was in shock unable to speak... " and where
is the jacket I got you to wear with the dress ??never go out without it.. And
from now on stop talking to Mansour.. You were young and it was ok but now it
is not appropriate.. Do you understand me? "
You said these words and left... You threw the
bomb and left me to die alone ! I remember how much I regretted waking you
up... I still think about what would have happened if I hadn't woken you up and
went down to play with the kids for one last time ...
I
remember spending over an hour looking at my blossoming body in the mirror... I
remember how much I hated it for preventing me from talking to Mansour... And
for the first time in my life ..I wished I were a boy !
