She
couldn't breathe nor walk. She was
struggling to see through the veil that she was wearing for the first time. It
was covering her whole face yet she felt naked ! Her shame was stronger than
her fear, but she had no choice… no choice at all…but to keep walking.
Horrified
she might fall on the ground and her face would be uncovered, she tried to walk
quickly but firmly, she heard the voice of rocks under her feet while walking,
she kept looking and turning her head to the right and left. Even though she
was almost sure no one knows her in that area, she did not have the privilege
of jeopardizing her whole life.
She reached
her destination and stood by the door of that old building, she pushed the
black metal door that had a picture of flower drawn on it by chalk, she assumed
that a young girl passing by might have drawn it, she did not know why the
image of that girl found its place in her terrified, full of ideas mind.
She
entered and took slow steps to the first floor, and when she reached the door
of the 'place' , she saw another woman, wearing a veil over her face, waiting
by the door.
For the
first time that morning, she was not afraid ,she did not know that woman but
she knew her well !! It was as looking into a mirror, her own self, own story,
own mistake, own life in front of her eyes.
"Aren't
you afraid …. Aren't you afraid of God?" , the woman asked her.
"God
forgives, but people never do." She answered.
"What
if you died on the operation table… die while killing a soul ?"
"I
have no other choice and you, out of all people, know that." she said while tears were
falling.
"You
Do have a choice, WE HAVE a choice. We can go and face our society, our
destiny."
"I
made a mistake and I deserve a second chance."
"What
if they, our families, give us our second chance"
"I
made a mistake and I deserve a second chance." She answered like a young
child weeping.
"They
might have enough mercy in their hearts, and everything might turn out
well."
"She
deserves to live."
"Who
is she?"
"The
girl who drew the picture of a flower on the door of this building, the girl
who might be my future daughter."
"Your
future daughter that you are about to have her killed?" the shocked woman
asked.
"No,
not this baby."
She
answered and hurried towards the door and opened it , and while she was getting
inside, she looked at that woman and said "Come with me, please
come."
"No,
I will go back , if there is one chance for my child to live then I will take
the risk and face my family and the whole society. I believe that the love
inside their hearts will overcome the hatred."
The woman
said her words and went running out of the building.
She
closed the door of the 'place' behind her to find a good looking man sitting
behind a desk , chewing gum and reading his magazine peacefully.
"Hello,
I am here for an … for an…."
The man
looked her carelessly and asked " Did you get the money?"
"Yes."
, she opened her purse and gave him the money.
She
wondered how a relaxed man could be guarding a door of hell, how he can act so
normally, he did not even ask for her name, which relieved her.
She
entered the room while another man followed her, he gave her the
anesthesia and in moments, she was
unconscious.
They say
that a brain under anesthesia does not have the ability to feel, see or even
dream of anything, but her experience was different, she had an out of body
experience, she saw the man performing the operation on her, but surprisingly,
she went far away, to that woman's house, in her living room, while she stood bravely
in front of her family members to tell them the truth.
Her
unconscious body shook which made the man question himself whether he gave her
the right amount of anesthesia . He did not know that her body was shaking our
of her fear over that woman…
Her
family members did not even let her finish, everyone of them hurried to grab a
knife or a strong tool to be the first to kill her. She did not move a muscle,
she waited them gracefully and avoided looking at them in the eye, she did not
want anyone of them to feel guilty for killing her. She looked at her angry
father's hand that was holding a knife with love… Her only hope was that he
would target her neck not belly, she did not want her baby to die before her….
Lying on
the operations' table, she saw everything, she felt everything.. She witnessed
the murder of a woman and her baby while her own was being killed.
The
operation was over, she was unable to move or speak. Hours later, she was out
of the building…. She looked around and saw a very small piece of chalk on the
ground, she did her best to grab it and draw another flower on the building's
old black metal door… She finished drawing… then left.
******************************
