Friday, February 22, 2013

The Confession



She took off her shoes and walked by the sad sea , the sand was pulling her down trying to stop her from moving on , her tears were trying to cover her eyes so she could not see her way , her heart was bounding so fast  begging her not to move on . She refused to listen to everything around her and decided to go on , and when she saw him , she wiped her tears , looked at the sand under her and kept moving towards him.

He was so happy to see her , every time he sees her his face turns red as if it were their first meeting .  He was afraid to walk towards her , he was sure that he will fall or do something stupid , so  he stayed in his place waiting for her.

She stood opposite to him , and looked at his face , she looked deeply into every single detail of it , his eyes, nose , hair and lips. She wanted to remember everything about him before she speaks.

He laughed and said :" What ? is it the first time you see me ?"

"No, but it might be the last . "

"What do you mean ?"

Tears started falling , she looked at the sea and started talking to him .

"There is something that you should know about me . Actually , there are many things that you should know ."

An angry wave hit them , he moved away quickly , but she did not  , her dress became wet , he tried to move her but she refused and kept talking while tears falling down from her eyes.

" Remember when you told me that a person's life is like a story ? A story that is filled with black pages that resemble the bad times he has been through and his mistakes and white pages that represent the beautiful things  that had touched their souls…. Well , you are my only white page and the rest of my book is filled with black ones… "

He tried to speak , but she stopped him .

"I am not the angel that you think I am . I have done a lot of mistakes , I have done a lot of bad things that you can never imagine . "

She stopped for a while , took a deep breath and started talking. She told him about everything , all the horrible things that she had done before and  all the wrong decisions that she had made .

She kept talking and talking for a long time , not looking at him , trying to finish fast before he has the chance to say anything or react in any way. She was horrified while telling him about all the awful , disgusting and appalling things , but she couldn't lie anymore , death was easier than keeping all those dreadful secrets.

When she finished , she looked at him and said :" But when I met you , I felt as if I was born again , a new person with a white page , or at least this is what I tried to tell myself . The truth is my history and every mistake I have done kept following me wherever I go , haunting me as a ghost of a dead person who refused to leave me alone . For a short period of time I was convinced that I shouldn't tell you , but I was sure that if I did not , it would be the biggest mistake in my whole life, the only one that I will not be able to forgive myself for no matter what .

She stopped talking , he said nothing  , he did nothing .

"Please forgive me . " She said , crying .

"You told me also that there are orange pages in the books of our lives, those pages that we love but can never be proud of , and I think I will be one of them , because I am sure that I will be the only page that you will be ashamed of . Don't worry , I will move away , I will disappear hoping that you could find a place in your heart for forgiveness. "

She started walking away , sobbing in tears . She was finally relieved for letting all out , but heart-broken knowing that she has lost the best person she had ever met in her whole life, the person who made her dream again. Suddenly , she felt a hand holding her , she turned around and saw him .

" I just need time ." He said to her . "I just need time."

She nodded and then left.

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About Me

Palestinian/ Freelance writer, translator and Trainer./ I believe that writing is therapy and that is why I write./ 26 years old.
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