Sunday, December 23, 2012

Tick Tock....

Tick , tock , tick, tock,  tick , tock, tick, tock, tick, tock…..

Fear started growing in their hearts , without thinking , she held her hand, it was very cold and dry, unlike hers , which was very sweaty .

Tick , tock, tick, tock, tick, tock…..

"I am afraid" , the first woman said.
"Me, too", the other one answered.
"But I am not afraid because I am about to give birth"
"I know"
"How do you know?"
"I have given birth to six children , I know what birth fear sounds like . Tell me , why are you afraid?"

Tick , tock , tick, tock, tick, tock…….
"Because I don't want to give birth to another one of them"
"Who are them?"

Tick , tock , tick, tock, tick, tock……

Without looking at her, she answered .
"Dead children"

Tick , tock , tick, tock, tick, tock……

" I've given birth to three dead children. The doctors told me that I can no longer have another pregnancy …. It will kill me , but I don't have a choice… do you know why ?"
"Because of your husband"

Tick , tock , tick, tock, tick, tock……

"How did you know?"
"Because your husband who wants you to get pregnant no matter what , is my husband who made me pregnant after seven years of marriage and six daughters , he wants to have a boy , even if this will kill me , the doctors cannot believe that I am still alive…. He doesn't care, all he wants is a baby boy."

Tick , tock , tick, tock, tick, tock……

"Why didn't your husband marry another woman?"
"Why didn't yours marry another woman?"
"If he could , he would , but my husband is so poor that he cannot provide food for tonight's dinner , but don't think that he did not try to do it , but no woman and no family agreed. "
"Mine has the money , but me being a member of a big family is an obstacle …. I went to my family and begged them to let him marry another woman , but they considered this happening a big insult to them . They did not stop for a second to think of my health…."

Tick , tock , tick, tock, tick, tock……

She squeezed her hand until she was about to crash it.
"Another contraction?" , she asked , without looking at her , but sensing the silent tears falling.
"I don't want to do this anymore."
"I don't want to do it either"
The doctor came into the room and saw them.
The thing that she did not know was that one of them was crying out of contractions and both of them were crying out of desperation….

Tick , tock , tick, tock, tick, tock……

After checking on them…

"I think you are both ready to have your babies…. This is a very nice coincidence , I will go and ask two nurses to come and get you to the delivery rooms…."
The door was closed…..

Tick , tock , tick, tock, tick, tock……

For the first time , the two women looked at each other….. the hugged and cried heavily……one of them covered her face in the shoulder of the other … their crying turned into weeping …….

Tick , tock , tick, tock,  tick , tock, tick, tock, tick, tock…..
Tick , tock , tick, tock,  tick , tock, tick, tock, tick, tock…..

He opened the third pack of cigarettes , took one and started smoking it nervously , moving hysterically in the hall….. when he saw the doctor , he threw the cigarette and ran towards her….
"A boy , tell me it is a boy , I am begging you , is it a boy ."
"Sir , you have to…. "
"A boy , please , please , please , answer my question , is it a boy ? answer me "
"It is a boy , sir , but …."
He did not listen to her , he started screaming and jumping….. the doctor was speaking to him , but he couldn't focus on the words…
After a minute of joy , he heard her words…
"Sir , listen to me , your wife gave birth to a boy …. But he is dead , I am so sorry to deliver this bad news , but ……"
He fainted……..

Tick , tock , tick, tock,  tick , tock, tick, tock, tick, tock…..
Tick , tock , tick, tock,  tick , tock, tick, tock, tick, tock…..

Sitting on the floor , with his mother next to him , telling him that this time his wife will give birth to an alive child , that he did a good thing when he listened to her and made his wife pregnant despite all the things that the doctors said, he felt as if oxygen was about to evaporate and he was about to die…
The doctor came out…
He stood up , took his mother hands and went to the doctor ….
"Is the baby alive ?" the mother said.
"Yes" , the doctor answered , " A beautiful alive girl"
"But why do I feel that you hare holding bad news?" , the husband asked.
"I am sorry sir, but we have told you that the pregnancy in your wife's condition is very dangerous…..I am sorry , but your wife is dead….."
Everything went silent except for the hallway clock….

Tick . . . Tock . . .

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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

A Different Morning

He woke up with a big smile on his face . It was mother's day . It was all planned in his mind . He hurried to the kitchen and started preparing the usual breakfast he always prepares for her in this occasion.

He started boiling the water and went to the garden , he was not walking , he was almost dancing . When he reached there , he picked a red rose , his mother's favorite , put it in a vase and put it on the tray.

Looking at the flower , he remembered the morning of his first job interview , he was scared and terrified and he thought that he did his best to hide it , but as usual , she understood him and on his way to get out of the house , she hugged him and gave him a rose .

'Don't worry , you will do great God willing . Take this flower , and while it is with you, remember that your mom is praying for you.'

He told her that he is no longer a child and she was exaggerating , but he ended up keeping the flower in his hand until he entered the office for the interview.

While cutting the cheese , he cut his finger , he put his hand under water to stop the bleeding . He smiled , thinking of all the mornings his mother spent by his bed while he was sick , tired or even depressed.

The breakfast was ready , he opened all the windows of the house , he wanted to be full of light and walked to her room.

A flashback of the morning after … after the girl whom he was in love with traveled and he was sure that she won't come back . He stayed in his room and kept the windows closed , even though it was morning , his room was as dark as night with no moon , he never told her that he was in love , but a mother's heart never misses. She knew deep inside that his heart was broken . She got in the room , and opened the windows and told him :"Let the light into your room  , into your life my dear son . We all pass through stages where we lose people or things that mean a lot to us , but life has to go on , and in order to keep living it , we need it to be full of happiness, full of mornings. "

With every step , with every second of that morning , he remembered all the mornings he spent with her . Every smile , every prayer , every tear , every hug , every discussion , every secret , every feeling he had with her .

He opened the door , put the tray on the bed , got down on his knees and started crying .

The bed was empty …..

'I miss you my mother …. Oh God , I really miss you '

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About Me

Palestinian/ Freelance writer, translator and Trainer./ I believe that writing is therapy and that is why I write./ 26 years old.
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