Monday, September 10, 2012

The Smoke....


She entered the café , sat on their favorite table by the window and lit a cigarette . The waiter did not bother to ask for an order , minutes later , her Turkish coffee was on her table .

Even though she was looking at the window , she could feel the people looking at her , surprised that a woman is smoking ,not only that , but she has the courage to smoke in public, it was not an acceptable scene , but her whole life was not acceptable by the society.

Many people tried to give her advice about leaving the cigarettes , but she refused , she had always believed that the cigarette is that friend that will never leave her , the one who is there for her when she is down , depressed and sad.

Through the smoke of her cigarette she watched the flower that the waiter placed at her table , and then she remembered what her friend once told her about smoking "You are like a flower , a flower that kills herself with the cigarettes , the only thing it gets is few seconds of smoke left , and then it will die ".

That friend was a guy , another question mark that the society drew over her face . She could not care less of what the society thinks of her and her behaviors . She had the belief that she was doing the right thing ….

Half way through her coffee , he entered . For her , he was the man that she loved , the one that she decided to be with for the rest of her life. 

They have been in love for four years , four complete years , it was ok for her , she was planning to wait for him for extra four years if she needed to. But at that moment , it was very close, they decided to get married and achieve their dreams together.

For the society, he was the married man that another woman is trying to steal from his wife. No one encouraged her to be with him , she had everything , beauty , education and personality , yet she decided to be with him.

"Why?" her friend once asked her . "Out of all the people you chose this man to be with . He is no good for you in any way . "

"He completes me " , she answered .

"Completes you ? huh ! just like the cigarette , it completes you , it just kills you my friend , and so will he , he will kill you and leave you alone to be with his wife."

"He will never do that . He loves me , he doesn't love his wife at all , he is just with her because he feels sorry for her, but he cannot live without me "

"And what is he waiting for ? Why doesn't he leave her and marry you ? or at least marry you ?"

"Because the right time hasn't come yet"

"Four years and the right time hasn't come yet ? Look around you , how people look at you …"

She interrupted him " I never care about what people think of me . If I did , I wouldn't have been friends with you in the first place"

"This is your problem " , he said " you got blinded in a way that made right and wrong the same to you "

She was driven by her thoughts that she did not notice him sitting opposite to her nor the look on his face …

"Good morning " he said.

"Good morning , my love . How did it go ? How did your wife react when you told her that you are going to leave her ? I bet it was a difficult situation . Did you tell her about me ?"

He paused for a moment and said " I did not tell her anything "

She did not know whether it was the shock , surprise or the sense of humiliation that stopped her from saying a word. She just looked at him .

"She is my wife , I cannot leave her . "

She took a deep breath and said " Ok , I guess we will have to wait for another six months or a year then ."

"No ." he answered . " I think we should stop our relationship.

Shocked , surprised and humiliated … She remained silent .

"What am I supposed to tell the people around me  ? they all know about us , but the idea of leaving my wife that I have been with for six years is not acceptable and….."

"And is the idea of being in love with me for four complete years acceptable?"

"I never promised you of anything"

"I trusted you , that is why I did not ask for anything "

During the whole conversation she was looking to him in the eye , while he was avoiding her by looking at the window , her cup of coffee or the empty space .

"I loved you " she said.

" Love is not enough"

"I ran in the opposite direction for you . I faced the whole society for you …"

"Listen " , he said " talking will not lead to anything . let us forget about the whole thing and complete our lives in the right way ."

" The whole 'thing' ? our love has became a 'thing' ?"

He said nothing , stood up and left.

While he was leaving , she understood what her friend told her , she saw him through the smoke of her cigarette , and then she knew it . He was no different from the cigarette , he was there , stole her best years and left , and all she had was …… was the smoke , and not for a long time !

Humiliated , humiliated and humiliated …. She finished her cup of coffee and  left the café.

"Excuse me Miss" the waiter said while following her .

She turned around and answered him "Yes "

"I am sorry , but you have forgotten your pack of cigarettes ."

She looked at him and said "No , I did not . I left it there . I don't smoke anymore !!"

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About Me

Palestinian/ Freelance writer, translator and Trainer./ I believe that writing is therapy and that is why I write./ 26 years old.
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