My Cancer Letters
( Letters written by a 29 year old guy who found out
that he has cancer and less than a year to live )
Letter Two : To My Unborn Child
My Dear Child,
I have always heard that it takes the women no time to feel motherhood , but it takes the man years to feel what being a father is …… A friend of mine told me that the first time he felt that he was a father was after having two children and the eldest one was couple of years old.
For me , it has always been different , I have always dreamed of you , my first child, my first boy , even though I am one of the people who love having daughters not sons , but I had …. I had a strong belief that my first baby child will be a boy , will be you . And because of this , I wanted to get married , I wanted to be committed because I really missed you.
Do you know what you look like ? you are white with black hair , with the tiniest hands . You have a smile of an angel and when you are sad you have the most beautiful look in the whole world , a look that will make people be more in love with you . By the way , you are chubby with the most delicious cheeks that I won't keep my hands off .
Can you believe me when I tell you that I can smell you ? You smell like a breeze of air holding Jasmine scent . And your voice …. Oh, that angelic voice with all the softness of the whole world , one word is capable of touching my soul.
My dear child , I am so sorry for letting life take me away from achieving my dream of having you , finding excuses and reasons for waiting for the right time to come. Right now I ask myself " What is RIGHT TIME?"
Worried ? Maybe . Afraid ? Of course . The idea of having a family in this world is terrifying to me , to have children of my own facing a beautiful yet cruel reality is something that has controlled every single decision I have ever made. Feeling like a father led me to postponing having you out of loving you . As much as I wanted to see you , I wanted not to !
Your daddy is sick , he has a strong disease , it is called cancer , and the doctors told him that he will die in less than a year. Don't worry my dear , we are all going to die one day , and hopefully we are going to go to heaven .
Yes, I am sad , I will not lie to you , it is difficult , but I will be fine .
An artist !! Yes , an artist !! this is what I dreamed that you will be when you grow up . A person that can cause all these feelings in my heart has to be an artist . Maybe a singer , painter or poet , it doesn't matter , but you will be a great one .
I believe that I will see you one day , if it is not on this earth then in a better place , a place of no hatred , negativity or injustice . I will see , hug and kiss you in a place full of love , quietness , hope and optimism .
Till I see you ,
Daddy has cancer,