Tuesday, February 7, 2012

On the Bathroom's Floor (No More Domestic Violence)



Lying on the bathroom floor , she was not sure whether she was alive or dead . She knew that she was there , and that was it . She tried to move any part of her body , to open her eyes or to breath but unfortunately she was not able to do any of these things . Suddenly , her tasting sense was alerted when she tasted the drop of blood that found its way to her mouth , it was bitter and so was her life. What happened to her was another episode of the nonstop violence life she has been living with her husband , but this time it was  a cruel one that made her unaware of what going on around her .

It took her an hour to gain little consciousness and two hours to be able to move one finger of her right hand . Suddenly , flashbacks of her life started moving in front of her as a movie , she was terrified but unable to say or do anything to stop these flashbacks. 

She remembered her engagement party where her husband,  who was her fiancé back at that time putting the ring on her right hand , she still remembers the look on her father's eyes. Her father who completely refused the idea of her getting married to that man , but after months of crying and not going to university , he was forced to agree. Before the party he went to her room and begged her to change her mind because he felt that she will not find her happy ending with him , but she refused to listen to him . And while he was putting the ring on her finger she saw tears in her father's eyes , not tears of happiness , but tears of fear . Her father was no longer around her to protect her from the monster she got married to .

After a while , she started feeling the pain around her waist , her waist that her husband put his head on crying and begging her to forgive him after the first time he hit her. Since they got married , they always had fights and arguments , but it was that time when he came towards her and hit her . While moving towards her , she expected everything except for that . She had no reaction , she did not scream , yell  or cry because simply she was in shock. She stayed in her room for a week and then he came back , asking for forgiveness , promising her that this will never happen again . She forgave him not knowing that this scene will be repeated hundreds of times in the future.

Surrounded by her blood , she started gaining consciousness . A lot of thoughts took place in her mind , strong thoughts that distracted her from  all the pain she was feeling before. Enough is enough , that is what she thought. She decided to go to her family and ask for their help , but she knows her family very well, and according to her uncles , no good wife would leave her husband even if he kills her . She remembered when her cousin had a similar situation and went to her father's house to help her . Her father did not even let her step into the house, he held her hand and took her back to her husband and he apologized on behalf of  his daughter for her  'bad behavior'  . If she does not have the support of  her family ,  whose support will she have ?

Another thought came to her mind , it was about her husband , she felt sorry for him and started finding excuses for what he did . "You are an IDIOT" , these were her best friend's words screaming at her whenever she tries to defend her husband or find a loophole to use in order to justify the bruises  on her body . Her friend was the only person she told everything , including the simplest details . Not only were those words screaming in her head , but other words her friend used to tell her " This time you got out of it alive , but no one can guarantee the next time , no one can guarantee. "

And what about society ? how will people react if she takes any action against her husband. She will be the woman who did not respect the traditions , who did not tolerate one mistake of her husband who is a human being  and has the right to commit a mistake .

At that moment , she was fully aware of everything around her  , and while thoughts found their way out of her head , pain found his way back . She cried and cried for a long time . After that she tried to stand up , nothing she tried worked until she grabbed the shower curtains and started pulling her body up .

When she stood up , she screamed , not because of the pain but because of the woman she saw in the mirror , it took her minutes to figure out that that beast was herself. She was wearing a sleeveless white shirt and pink shorts , she felt the blood passing on her body reaching her legs , she was afraid , sad and angry.

She walked as fast as she can to get out of the house, but then the biggest thought hit her….. her children !!! If she did not care about the society , her parents or her feelings towards her husband , will she be able to ignore her children who no matter what will happen will still love their father ? As a defeated rival ,She looked down at the ground and started going back to her bedroom to change her clothes ,clean the house as if nothing had happened , and on the next day she will call her friend to tell her what happened in order to hear her usual speech about standing up for herself.

While walking to her room she noticed that there was one person that she has never thought of , herself . Is she happy ? will she be happy ? what happened to her and her dreams of having the best family ? At that moment , she decided go back and get out of the house.

She got out of the house and started walking …..

Not ashamed of her uncovered body , she walked.

Not ashamed of the society that will judge her , she walked.

Not ashamed of her uncovered body , she walked.

Not ashamed of her feelings that are telling her that she will be betraying her husband , she walked.

Not ashamed of her family that may disown her for what she was about to do , she walked.

Not ashamed of facing her kids that she was sure they will understand her one day , she walked.

Not ashamed of her uncovered body , she walked.

She reached the police station that was located at the end of the street , stepped up the three stairs and stood in front of the surprised soldier .

All what the soldier heard was a very low voice , but that voice was coming from every part of her body , from the depths of her soul:

"Help me, Help me ………………….Help"

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2 comments:

  1. How touching ! the way you describe the situation in details is so strong and harmonic .. unexpected and interesting ..

    Coming back to the post .. coming back to the unconscious love .. she made a lifetime mistake when she was driven by her entire desire without listening carefully to any outer advice .. and without respecting any older experience from caring persons ..

    On personal and society aspects, it's a horror mirror of bad behaviors and lack of wisdom mixed with self blindness and wrong expectations ..

    Despite all of that, she did well while walking to find an end of this animal life ..

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  2. Thank you very much for your comment. One problem that women (or people who are abused in general ) have is that they feel ashamed even though they have done nothing wrong . I feel very sorry that till this time we are still facing this problem all over the world and hope one day it will be over. . . But I have one question ... how can we raise awareness about this issue ?

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About Me

Palestinian/ Freelance writer, translator and Trainer./ I believe that writing is therapy and that is why I write./ 26 years old.
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